May 2012, The First Poem I Ever Performed

I’m so confused, I don’t know which side to choose, I feel like either way I’ll lose. But I’m no longer a pearl, I’m just the shell. And sometimes I feel like life is a living helllll. Oh. Hello, hey, would you like to be my friend for today? Because I just wanna be happy and play, and it doesn’t really matter if you stay. Because everyone eventually leaves. Leaves change, nothing ever stays the same. Maybe its all ourselves to blame, because we constantly add our fuel to the flame. And its like sometimes things get harder every day, and there are so many things I want to say, but they’ll just turn into things I wish I had said. And sometimes, on the inside, I feel a little dead. And I try to tell myself its all in my head, but somehow, I’m stuck in this spot, in a constant tread. And sometimes my heart’s so fragile, it breaks like lead. And I know most people can understand the words I’ve said, but that doesn’t mean they comprehend what goes on in my head. Usually, I’m just trying to look for some common thread, something I can see that’ll make me believe I’m not my own worst enemy. But ya wanna know what’s kind of funny? I probably am my own worst enemy. Say hi to E. Christine, that’s me. My enemy. There’s more to her than you think you see, because on the outside, she’s trying to look happy. But on the inside, everything’s kinda crappy. I don’t mean to make this sound too sappy, but my life goal is to be happy. Cause that’s all I’d ever need, and if you can catch up to my speed, you’d see, that’s all anyone needs, really.

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